Wednesday, November 30, 2005


LATEST news here is that a Peruvian was arrested

for dumping a box that contained cut-up body of a 7-y/o child in Hiroshima.

It was discovered among the garbage,

placed inside a small box intended for a gas-stove burner.

It took the Police a little less than a week after the crime.

[The policemen here are that good: walang lusot sa kanila!]

The suspect was nabbed at a friend's apartment hundreds of kilometers away.

He denied the crime, but he is being investigated,Japanese style.


IT USED TO BE sooo safe here, that one can walk alone in the Park...

without fear and worry no matter how late.

Lately though, with the influx of foreigners and 2nd/3rd generation Japanese [which includes yours truly] a lot of things has happened and things do not look good.....

I have lived in the NW for sometime, and I can least!....

HERE, the Law dictates a gunless society...hence, most crimes are knife-related.

A small percentage includes strangulation, or being clobbered on the head.

Other times, there were numerous car accidents that include those Brazillieros who were found to be high on drugs and racing on 100-km when the rule indicates the lane for a 40-km speed;

or those whose driving run counter to the natural flow of traffic.The traffic here is similar to London's or HK's.

MOST crimes are topped by robbery, followed by acts of lasciviousness, pedophilia [maybe, that Peruvian wanted that girl; it appears that way, anyway... ]....


I live in the outskirts of the City....and I am surrounded by plots of lands intended for vegetables and rice paddies on two sides, the wide garage at the far back, and a river embankment on the western side.

I find the place peaceful, and I never open the door once it gets dark.

Most often, I am left alone, when the handful of employees leave after five.

The drivers keep varied hours, hence, they come and go...but I can see them all from the main house [Jiji must have thought well on that!].

So far, I have lived a quiet existence.Thank God for that!

Aside from some Bangladeshis, I am the only lady-foreigner living within a radius of 5 kilometers....

and I hope that the peace and tranquility of this place remain unmarred by recent happenings there, and elsewhere......

Sunday, November 27, 2005



has just passed

and I failed to publish some thoughts on GRATITUDE.

The past few days proved to be quite hectic, at least, for me....

You see, I was busy packing all those BalikBayan boxes that contains some of my paraphernalia and all the 'Pasalubongs' for my relatives as well as the few friends who remained loyal, despite the miles apart.

The days went fast and the it's December again! Time to do those baggages as the Holiday season nears. As usual, I am spending my Christmas and New Year with loved ones.

Hence, the DAY of THANKS slipped away and I was remiss of remembering....

Even a cyber friend, ANN sent me a card that says in part: "You are one of the reasons why I celebrate Thanksgiving!'.....I found that when I checked my emails and I felt guilty! It was remiss of me not to have noticed! Mea culpa!

Some say that THANKING THE LORD and other people who made a difference in our lives is a western tradition.

I beg to disagree.

History tells us that it is a common practice among the nations of the world. And the Philippines is no exception.

Our forefahers have used rituals in various mode to show thanks to the gods and the spirits that roam around...

The Japanese, being basically traditional, believe that the spirit of the departed watch over the living, along with the dieties of old. They display close similarities with that of China and the Koreas.

I have been raised to respect different religious convictions. My Tatay was a believer of DAI-BUTSU=SAMA or the GREAT BUDDHA as is commonly known. he went to Chinese Temples in the country if time and chance permits. otherwise, he went with us to Catholic masses and stayed in one corner byt he door, and prayed as he reverently bowed his head.

GIVING THANKS TO GOD and asking his ancestors to watch over us have been a family practice since way, way back. I always remember food, or fruits placed on the altar where the names of the departed Lolo or Lola have dominated it....Aside from the pictures, there's the incense sticks and the candles to light it with. Then there's that cup-like thing that emits a bell-like sound when struck. This one is used to "call the attention" of the spirits.

I ALWAYS GIVE THANKS, to God for making me the way I am....

and for bringing LIGHT to my mind and to others.

I always pray for guidance as I greet the day.


I guess, GIVING THANKS MUST BE AN EVERYDAY ACTION, rather than an annual affair.

BUT since it is THANKSGIVING, I'd like to THANK friends and foes alike for making cory the way she is. I'd skip my immediate family for they know how I feel. I'd rather go on with others who must know MY NEVER-ENDING GRATITUDE for all the things I've learned and for being there when I need them.

>For your thoughts and straightforwardness: flor, jovy, pat and marcia; MLQ3, DJB,jove, conrado-de-quiros,rina-d.jimenez

>For being there> hiro, mitsu and naoko, hidemi...

>For the peope who LOVE Inang Bayan> Thank YOU all for showing the way...

>For the likes of ate glue and her cohorts> you never fail to remind me of the bad eggs in the Pinoy's basket.

>For allowing me to post my thoughts> pinoy blogsphere and fora;

>For the opportunity to blog here....

and to those whose very existence proved and created an impact on how I think...


Friday, November 25, 2005


I found this among my mails and I thought this one is worth sharing.



This is a good story and is true.

I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3)

and have recently completed my college degree.

The last class I had to take was Sociology.

The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities

that I wish every human being had been graced with. Her last project of the term was called "Smile." The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions.

I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway, so, I thought this would be a piece of cake, literally.

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son.

We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did. I did not move an inch... an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved.

As I turned around I smelled a horrible "dirty body" smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men. As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was "smiling".His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance.

He said, "Good day" as he counted the few coins he had been

The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend.

I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation.

I held my tears as I stood there with them.

The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted.

He said, "Coffee is all Miss" because that was all they could afford.

(If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm).

Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes.

That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action!

I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray.

I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot.

I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman's cold hand.

He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, "Thank you."I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, "I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope."

I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son.

When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said,

"That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me hope."

We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give.

We are not church goers, but we are believers.

That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love.

I returned to college, on the last evening of
class, with this story in hand.

I turned in "my project" and the instructor read it.

Then she looked up at me and said, "Can I share this?"

I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class.

She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed.

In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my husband, son, instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student.

I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn:


Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this

and learn how to


If you think this story has touched you in any way, please tell others.

There is an Angel sent to watch over us.

An Angel wrote:

Many people will walk in and out of your life,

but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.

To handle yourself, use your head.

To handle others, use your heart.

God Gives every bird it's food,

but He does

not throw it into its nest.


Thursday, November 24, 2005

WIN SOME...LOSE SOME the story of LIFE!... it, now?

It is inevitable for people to encounter other people as we travel LIFE's highway....

After all, HUMAN BEINGS are meant to be sociable;>to meet other people, exchange pleasantries/greetings, communicate, and expound ideas and thoughts.

As I travel through LIFE, I have encountered a lot of characters: some are bearable, some are not.Others simply do not care, a lot more do...[Bless them!].

I have grown weary of people who have been adamant in their demands while I try to ward off attention.You see I hate to make people angry.I do not want to do that anymore....

Not so long ago, people find me such an opinionated person.My kamag-anaks once joked: "such a Dragon Lady!"

I never wanted to be a Dragon...

I wanted to be a Lady Business MOGUL !!!!


a LADY TAIPAN!!!! [*wow!*]

I wouldn't mind if they called me an OGRE, instead! [nyahahah!!]

I never minced words as far as my ideas are concerned. Not that I curse nor use profane that. I can go as far as "engs, gag* or t*nga...but have never used any home or elsewhere.Old habits die hard, ei?

I am not in this world to please everyone.

True: I want to have as many 'friends' as I can imagine....

But I never want ALL people to say words I find disconcerting for comfort.

I have no intention of wrecking other people's lives,

nor intrude in any other's lovelife, for that matter.

I HAVE MY OWN LOVE, anyway....

I will always lend a helping hand and my ears may listen to some other's woes...

but I can only limit my attention to a line or two.

SOMETIMES I FEEL that people go emotional when attention are never reciprocated.

They resort to making blackmails emotionally...

Perhaps, they think I am so naive [partly, I am!].

Goodness! I like to talk> to ease the pain of living like a hermit!

But to go personal beyond my limit is one thing I despise.


like kamag-anaks and/or dear ol friends from way2 back...

I guess I am not ready to face it all, ei?

I might need some time...

Who knows? the distant future....


But now I realize that





Sunday, November 20, 2005


THE DAYS are getting better and the nights colder....

I get to sleep right away as soon as I touch the covers. I guess I've been like this since I let go of everything....

I have had a number of encounters with tears in my life. But I had to be strong. There's no one else to care about me, anyway....except me, I and myself.

Yeah, I may have siblings alright, but they have their own world now and their family matter first, I guess. And I, second. Can't blame them, though....

Since my parents passed away, LIFE was never the same.It used to be perfect when Tatay and Nanay were here.Now, it's not.


I used to share every thoughts with Nanay. I guess that was how we were....close enough that my siblings resented it.They thought I was too close to Nanay for their comfort.

You see, Nanay always had her eyes on me....I didn't realize it then...I do, now.

But even if tried to slip away from her 'dragon eyes' and eagles' claws sometimes [to attend some birthday parties of friends or that Fiesta in Guadalupe with Becca], I always tried to make amends with her. I helped the HHelp with the household chores and talked to her.

She may have "snobbed" me by pretending not to listen....but I know she did.

A neighbor who attended her wake told me so. I learned about how she felt about me compared to my siblings from Mrs. N. She related so many incidents that made me cry no end....

Nanay appreciated everything! I thought she never did...

She was one type who never showed her feelings. She may have hugged her 'APOs' by my elder siblings,but I never remember being hugged by her.

I did hug her....and she wasn't able to complain. It was on her deathbed, as I whispered that prayer she taught me, tears rolling from our eyes....That was the first and the last time I hugged her......and told her "Mahal kita, 'Nay!".....


Nanay was raised by a strict Aunt, Lola Thalia Villamor. Her mother died while she was barely walking and her father later remarried. She never felt loved then.

When she had her family,she showered us with all the attention she never got in her childhood...but she never got to the point where she could express her Love in words or actions.

She became possessive and super strict no one among my callers got past her.She categorically yelled at the callers that "Walang C. dito!"

My, oh my!

Oh yes, I knew she loved us.But the concrete manifestations were never present in her.

She ran the household perfectly, and had time for us....but the kisses and hugs were never present. I felt her love even despite that.

My Tatay supplied the pats and the gestures Nanay never showed. There were times when we would run to Tatay when Nanay got angry. And Tatay, not wanting to earn my mother's ire, would just comment "Kaya sunod, 'kinig na kay Nanay, ha?"

When Nanay is not around, he'd comfort us by giving extra pocket money secretly, or buying a new set of the latest fashion brought exclusively from HK [sold in ChinaTown ]. Being young, we were happy, and we easily forget what happened. >>>>I received the most.

A HS teacher once commented, "Hoy, C., mukhang pareho tayo ng suot ha?" I was wearing something better, I thought. She asked me where I bought them. I told her it was a present from my Father. She never treated me the same after that.She knew my Father travelled a lot.

I feel my parents really loved each other. They may be poles apart [like the color of their skin which was the butt of joke then]. Tatay was super duper "kumikinang sa puti," while Nanay was the supreme Morena.

BUT they remained together even if Tatay had the every opportunity to leave for his native country so many times....He never wanted to die in any other place.I guess he loved the country of his Love One.He wanted his remains buried in Manila.


REMEMBERING isn't that painful anymore. It may bring a tear or two....but not as painful as when it was new.

I guess it's true: "TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS."

I do not know why I keep on remembering the days gone past...

Is it because I am sooo lonely I wished they were here with me? it time to realize that I have gone over that emptiness within me?

I do not know....

I'll let things happen naturally hereon

as I move forward to a new tomorrow......

Saturday, November 19, 2005


TODAY was a busy, busy day....

The Head of a Department in that Car Company called Lolo,who in turn called me and demanded that a RIRIKISHO' [RESUME/BIODATA] be submitted ASAP.


I forgot all about it! I was asked to submit it before the week ends.And that means tomorrow!

Then a call came from one of my few Japanese friends here.Naoko's brother dropped into town from Osaka, and invited me to a foursome. Naoko was on leave due to her Grandma's 49th. Her brother treated us all to a STEAK HOUSE at the center of the city.

It was an invite I cannot refuse....Both Nao and Hidemi are good friends from way way back.We chatted while they [not I !] enjoyed the meal...I have been saturated with beef the whole week! Had it been Salmon or any fish for that matter....or even Max's, perhaps, I could have pigged it out with gusto.

Anyway, I have to drive to the meeting place, since no one can pick me up because our place is out of the way....

The BIG problem now is that my local License have expired and I am not supposed to drive at all! I made my way to the meeting place, sweating profusely as I looked at all sides .You see, I wouldn't want another Blue-Uniformed Policeman at my back.Thank God, I was able to push my way to the meeting place sans any problem. My angels must be working overtime, I thought.

Later, I have to rush to the nearby Supermarket. My supply of juice and fruits have ran out. I also bought some fish and vegetables.My stomach must be aching for that. This week just reeks of meat!

I went home as soon as I could, careful along the way. As I was parking the car, my celfone rang. It was Lolo again, asking where I was.He ordered [!] me to leave my BIODATA on his desk [office].

That is one thing I almost forgot!


So I started to look for the last copy I made. I couldn't find one!

It took me about 2 hours to complete two pages. I stamped my personal seal, pasted a picture, and placed it on his desk, ready for tomorrow.


Minsan naiisip ko, mahirap maghanap ng trabaho, lalo na sa 'Pinas...pero eto....ako pa ang hinahanap ng trabaho.

I must be thankful that the Gods decided to smile down on me all through my years.....

I must have done something good in my past lifetime....

.....I don't know......


.I was polishing some manuscript for submission when the phone rang.

It was the extension from the office so it must be important. It was Lolo asking that his hot bath be prepared. He was coming home and needed to change. He's going out with his business buddies for a night out. He needed to look fresh.

I did as fast as I could. He came home a quarter of an hour later. He moved as fast as he could and off he went to some IZAKAYA [BAR/RESTAURANT] two towns away. I am sure he's gonna enjoy drinking again!

I have grown used to this "business functions" as he put it.

My father did that, too, during his lifetime. Tatay worked with a Japanese firm a long time ago, and had to do business talk, the way Japanese traders do. They go out and drink!

And GOLF, too!

Today, he's scheduled to treat last night's business buddies from YOKOHAMA to a full round of Golf.

"It's part of business," he says....

Oh well....

"This is what makes the Japanese great in business deals," he'd always insist.

Okay! okay!

Lolo is no longer young. But he still manages to do all these things.

He has no one to do business for him.He has waited for my brother to settle here..

.I guess he has to wait forever.

KUYA has a full career from where he is, now.He isn't the type who likes to be uprooted from where he is planted. Besides, he has made good business in his own right.....that one he got from my Father.

That leaves me here.

For how long, I wouldn't know....

In my heart, I'd rather go back to INANG BAYAN and settle there, for good.

I have longed to live provincial...back in Nanay's old place by the sea.

Yeah, I'd like that.

But I'd like to be able to drop by Manila from time to time.

I do not know what tomorrow brings....

I do not like to mull on what could have been....[NO REGRETS here....I did what I must do].

I'd rather look forward to the days to come.

Shall I settle long as Lolo is here?...

or shall I go back to that place I call my home?

...What if I won't .....

How about ....????

Questions keep rushing into my head...

I do not have any idea...

no idea at all.

Anyway, I have all the time to think,

because today, a Sunday,


ALONE AGAIN..........


`*.¸.*´ 20Nov05

Thursday, November 17, 2005


I've been home-bound for the entire week, due to colds and the sudden dip of Mercury.

Since then, I've been spending my free [well, self-declared it may be ] time cuddling my lap top and chatting the hours away.

Whenever my ward [err... my Lolo, that is...] comes home or peeks into the main house from the nearby office, he almost always see me smiling/laughing by myself.

He once asked why.

"What is it that makes you smile/laugh out loud?"

I tried to explain and he said "What's so funny about that?"

After several attempts, I gave up.He simply cannot understand the world of cyberspace.


TODAY, he arrived early. He has prepared his load for the long haul to Shiga-Ken, two Prefectures away from ours.He peeked into my room and found me [again!] laughing out loud.

You see, I was chatting with someone. We were both sharing a fine joke and I can't help letting out a guffaw.

I thought I was alone. Besides, the other party couldn't see me, so what's wrong with that?.or so I thought....

"OY! What are you doing?! I'm going to call the yellow ambulance! Just you wait and see!" he yelled.

"What's that suppose to mean?" I asked.

"That's for hauling crazy ones, like you!"



Me? Crazy?


I told the other side what Lolo just said. He asked for another ambulance sent to him, too,provided I am on it.

The more guffaw echoed which made Lolo come rushing in ....

He must have thought I was in Stage 4!


Chatting and all these posts seen and read worldwide over the internet have made countless people laugh, cry, share some jokes, music or even advises...or just plain killing time.

It even made some souls meet, fall in love that would otherwise seem impossible, looking from the outside.

I have always been a private person. I never went out in my youth and spend some wild nights with friends or schoolmates.Hence, I have a few select friends with whom I share my private thoughts and feelings about almost anything.

I have been to numerous fora: enjoyed some and then left some after all the excitement has toned down.

But I have never ever chatted with anyone except with two good guys I met here in @###.


I have always been loved and cared for by loving parents who unselfishly guided me...and I desperately fear venturing into the unknown.....

Posting my thoughts became a release from all those pent-up emotions.

It also paved the way for ideas to flow out freely which I hope, some other souls pick up if they are good, and/or discard or simply forget those which aren't worth reading at all.

I enjoy sharing my thoughts to whoever are willing to listen. I, too, learn a lot as I skip through the pages of their Journals.

After all, that is what traveling through LIFE's highway is all about.

I enjoy reading great posts such as those of Opinion Writers and Great Thinkers.

I particularly like the blogs of heavyweights in punditry and local scenes. That includes those of mlq3, jove and more.... I must admit I am their regular visitors,of course, under another nick.


Nowadays, even Lolo is amazed at how the WWW works and asks me constantly to help him learn the "HOWs" of the net since he's going to do stocks after he retires.

I would, if I could.

Alas! I couldn't...since I, myself am ignorant of this I.T. phenomena.

Unless someone makes extra effort to train/guide me here,I must admit I will never learn the ways of the net....those click, click and more clicks easily make me give up those lessons.I

'd rather read or scan the pages....

but then again, also makes one feel great to be heard.

Do you enjoy the net, too?

Pray, do tell.....

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

MANHOLES: designer's creations?

WALKING has been my dose of exercise three times a week...

and I can't help but notice that MANHOLES here are quite different.

I intended to ask Jiji about it, but due to some things that kept me and of course, him, busy,

it slipped my mind.


Then last night, it happened.

That feature about MANHOLES,I mean....

It seems that every city/municipality here sport distinct designs.

Most are based on emblems of the city, or the place's specialty.

It could be a famous spot like>a Hot Spring, a mountain track, a historical castle....anything!Hence, when one sees the manhole, he will know the place.

For example, SAKURA or the CHERRY TREE remains the most popular motif,

followed by animals, food specialties,places of interest, and more....


The MANHOLE-WATCH group even ranked the most popular

and the most beautiful among them.

They said that that famous symbol of Osaka, the Glico ad, easily grabbed Rank # 1,

followed by the Kobe Tower.

Tokyo Tower made it to the Top Five.


Manholes in beautiful designs could never happen in Inang Bayan.....not in this age and time.....

Scavengers have moved to cutting the iron posts and/or grills along major roads and highways.

They even steal manholes which makes it more unbearable and dangerous when the rains and floods come by..

.Even a friend was robbed of her rusty garden set near her front gate in a moderate subdivision in LPC.

And the guards nor the policemen seem helpless on these matters.

Unless the authorities find ways and means to protect our public domain,

we will never achieve a better surrounding,

much less have better-looking manholes in the cities where we live....


Better check those manholes in your neighborhood.

They may be missing!


Monday, November 14, 2005


WHEN I left Inang Bayan, I took an International Driving Permit with me, just in case....

I went to other countries, and it was fine.

I had my first lesson in driving when I was 16.

My parents asked the family driver to teach me.

But I wasnt interested then.

Four years laterI saw some women driving and I thought, 'Why not?'

I enrolled with Lily at a drivng school along Aurora Blvd., near Broadway junction.

It was also there that I applied for that IDP that I mentioned early on.

When I transferred to JP, I liberally used the car in the garage.

Lolo had several:Toyota: CROWN, SUPRA, & NOAH,

a Mitsubishi PAJERO[ which he eventually got rid of by paying those junk shops with 'Dumping Fees ' since most Pajeros have been recalled due to some defects],

and a SUZUKI WAGON RR deluxe.

I took the smallest, but the newest.

I went on with my life here and travelled to places near and far to get what I wanted or to visit the Supermarket, the shops, Post Office [whenever I make those regular EMS boxes to Makoy & Jay], Home Centers, and department stores,ET CETERA.

It was one clear day and I was listening to a new CD while driving to that Blind Masseur. I started late and I was travelling at 70 km/hr. to the SL 40.There were no cars on the horizon, and I was running late,so I stepped on the axle and sped away.

I didn't notice that white motorbike [a big bike]beyond the curve. I saw it too late!


'Naku!' I thought....

lagot ako kay Lolo!

Masisira ang pangalan niya.Sa kanya nakarehistro ang sasakyan, eh.

Eh transport pa naman yung business nya!


The Policeman in Blue gestured: he wanted me to stop at the roadside.

I did what I was told.

Siyempre.... mabait ako, eh.

Pero nmn, ngayon lang akona-check nang ganito!

Ano ba yan?

Eto, lapit si Pulis:

Ako, as is sa loob ng car.

I just lowered the window.


Greetings. Aba, magalang siya!

Tsaka pansin ko agad: Guwapo!

Type! heheheh...


Tanong kung pwedeng makita ang Lisensiya ko.

He also asked for the Car Registration

[S.O.P. daw dito yun; OO nga, baka nga carnap yung kotseng gamit ko, noh? ].

Bigay ko naman. Sabi sa iyo, bait ako, eh.

Eh, di yata masyadong mabasa yung CORAZON.

Juskopo! Danda ng pangalan ko, noh?

Sinabi ko, 2 ulit pa nga yata yun.

Then nagsabi: "Hindi mo ba alam na speed limit eh, 40 kilo[meter] lang?"

Sagot ko: "Sorry po."

I know I did wrong...kaya sori agad....


Eh sagabal sa he instructed me to turn Left sa susunod na corner at doon mag-park.

He rode his Big white Bikeand showed the way.

Masunurin nga ako, noh? So I followed.

Pagdating dun sa medyo maluwag na lugar, he came near my car again,

and sat on his heels.

Umupo si Guwapo!..

.maybe para eye contact kami ?

Aba! isip ko..."Type!"

So I faced him,pero syempre, kabado ako, noh?

He smiled as he asked questions.

He asked where I was going...> why? work, from what country...etcetera..

I also smiled.

Galing ng mata: smiling sya....and super guwapo!


Later he said, "O sige, I will let you go for now, but be sure to follow the rules.

Next time, I will issue a ticket for your violation."

Me: "Yes, I understand. Thank You." sa paraang magalang.

What a relief! wheeew!!! Imagine that?

Yung Blue-Uniformed Policemen ang PINAKAmahigpit dito.

As I was starting the car again,

he said..."Take Care...and don't smile if a policeman stop you on the road."

I answered, "I understand," smiling....

I can't help but smile.Ano ba?

Pigilan ko man, ewan! As I was wondering which way to go,he gestured and led the way.

I bowed my head once again as I went my way.

I went to the appointment.

HULI na rin!



At home, I told the office staff and Lolo what happened.

Their raction?

They all laughed.

They said, NO ONE smiles at the policemen when apprehended.

Ako lang daw ang gumagawa noon.

Eh sabi ko nga, yung pulis ang unang ngumiti kaya lumakas ang loob kong ngumiti rin...


The Japanese are a serious lot...especially the Police authorities here.

They were amazed at how I got out of that incident.

I could have been fined with US$200 had he issued a Ticket.

Here, violators are brought to court and fined, license suspended, or worse, jailed.


I was the butt of jokes among the employees for days on end.

Whenever I take the car out of the garage, they'll shout: "No smiling!"

I can only smile back....

One driver quipped, "Next time I get apprehended, I'll call you. Be sure you come to my aid."

These went on for sometime.


Nowadays, I take extra care.

Next year, I am going to apply for a Japanese Driver's License and I need no bad record attached to my name.



Sunday, November 13, 2005


LOTS OF PEOPLE have volunteered to take care of Lolo, but none got his approval.

It was by sheer coincidence that I was able to earn Lolo's trust. But then again, that, is a another story.

I arrived to find mountains of bottles outside his living room window: all sorts! There were beers, O-sake [rice wine], Shochu[a concoction similar to the local Gin], red wine, white wine,and more! Say it, he drank it all....

I started to re-arrange his dwelling and decided to make dowith an "extension" near the drive way. I didn't want to stay in the main house because Lolo snores...and how!

So after settling in and feeling my way through the daily routine, life seemed normal...until one hot summer day when I went back home from a Hair Salon.

I had my hair cut kasi ba nmn,sooobrang init!

"Aray!" sigaw ko. Aba'y binatukan ako!? "Bakit ba?" ...Kasi daw sayang yung buhok ko.Madali nmng magpahaba ulit, eh...'Suya talaga!

Mabait si Lolo, kaya lang, kapag nakainom na,ayun, ang ingay!

Peaceful ang buhay ko kapag wala si Lolo at nasa delivery trips around Japan.

I cook for him, do the house cleaning, wash his uniforms, make sure everything is OKin the main house and the adjacent small building housing his transport office,

prepare his O-BENTO [PACKED LUNCH] everytime he goes out on long trips.

He has this HighBlood Pressure and has to control hischolesterol level.

In short, DH ako!


Anyways, I oversee his office once in a while, especially when he's away.And I do what his office staff cannot do:handle his Bank Transfers whenever he can't.

Lolo has bad tempers, maybe due to his HB...or maybe that's the way he is.

Sometimes he gets to my nerves, but I have to control my mouth lest I burst out some words I'd surely regret.

Laging nakasigaw, laging naka-check ng lahat ng bagay. Huuuu!!

Once I threatened him I'll go back where I came from, and he didn't talk to me for several days....

Naawa naman ako.


>>>>>Yesterday, tumawag nang maaga.Sabi maghanda daw ako kasi may interview sa Suzuki Car Plant.

I've been waiting for this call since September.

But there was some hitch with the Pinoy Trainees' papers.

This time, parating na raw...


So, bihis agad ako, madalian, kasi galit yun sa pagong.

Eh, pagong nga ako sa pag-aayosng sarili.

Eto na, dumating.

Silip sa room ko.

Sabi nya: "palitan mo yang palda mo!

Factory nga yun, tapos naka-palda ka?"

Sagot ko:"Interview lang naman ah?"

Lolo:"Palitan mo! "

Nag-utos ang hari!


Then he let me drive going to the Plant.

Para raw malaman ko ang lugar.


It was just a few minutes drive from the house.

Ang daming pintas!

Kaya nga ayokong magneho kapag nandyan si Lolo.

Professional sya, marami siyang drivers...kaya kung makabulahaw, sobra!

So, next, eto na po.



Pasok sa Meeting Room. Sinalubong kami nung Delivery Master.

We went to the 2nd F. and waited. Labas naman agad ung Manager ng Planta.

Batian sila ni Lolo. Hindi nya alam doon pala Manager ung nakalaro nya sa Golf some years back.

Basic Introductions.

Then tanong yung Manager sa akin.

Imagine? Si Lolo ang sagot nang sagot!

Tawa yung Delivery Master at Manager.

Sabi nila, "Tumahimik ka nga, at hayaan mo ang apo mong sumagot."

I know how Lolo must have felt.

He was kinda excited and worried about me...

I kept on answering the questions,kaya lang, I can't control Lolo....singit pa rin ng answers to the max....Parang gusto ko nang sipain sa paa...kaya lang I can't. HUUUU!!


It seemed OKAY naman, judging from the way the Manager accomodated me,despite the fact that I have to go back home this Holidays to renew my Driving License which expired last October.

Sabay ganun, noh?

Absent agad?!


The Interview ended with a beautiful note, too.

The Manager learned I am teaching EI KAIWA [ENGLISH CONVERSATION].

He signified he'd like some lessons, too.

He'll be reassigned two years from now to Zambales,

and he'd want to be able tocommunicate better.

That was great!

Nakatisod pa ng isa pang estudyante!


Lolo, meanwhile, ended up asking the Manager for another round of Golf some other time, when time and weather permits.

The usual talk, I believe among owners and top brass in Japanese business.

Kahit na ganito si Lolo, marami pa ring koneksyon.

Kaya ayun.








Yan ang Lolo ko.


Friday, November 11, 2005

HMDs, AIBO, I.T. ad infinitum

PANIC met my day yesterdayas I ventured to keep those clicking, clicking, and more clicking to the max.It started the other night as I face my PCand started to take pix to update my profile,web log[S] and whatever it is that needed to make


'Twas a cold night, and I have just taken my bath, blowed my hair...the usual ritual a woman my age would do to clean oneself. After all, it was bedtime....I just had some lip gloss here and a puff ofpressed shiseido night powder there.....

I took my digi-came and placed it on my left where there was a small space for my abubots, et cetera...I had trouble focusing, since I can't determine what's gonna happen.Hahahah!

I had taken lots and deleted those which are too blurred for comfort.

Anyway, I ended up asking some good hearts for help [Bless their souls! labshu gals!] to which they replied as soon as they could. However there must be somethin wrong with the size so...there was some problem...and this PC!

Oh well, "SOMETHIN'S GONNA GIVE," wise men say...

so there....

I ended up with a stiff neck and a headache....not to mention my eyes that needed instant eye relief....

I CANNOT get this IT thing...really!

I know, I know....I've been trying to learn all by my lonesome self this IT thing...

Truth be told, I am computer illiterate.

Oh yes, I can make posts and regale you with all those things happening to me here as I live far away from kamag-anaks...but then, I just know how to type. I am apprehensive admitting all these ignorance since I read somewhere a post by some IT geeks that in this age, it pisses them off to see posts or posters who are computer IGNO..

"ARAY!".... it hurts....

and I remembered....

I may have forgotten that geek's name,but I have remembered his [?] words... what? I couldn't care less....until his thing cropped up.


MODERN TECHNOLOGY never fail to amaze me...and I am truly at awe at some Pinoy geeks who make a play of this IT thing...And that is great!

Do I envy them?

HMmmmm... I don't think so...

KANYA-KANYAng hirit daw yan, sabi ng isang kakilala sa net.

.I agree. What else can I do?

GOD GAVE EACH OF US GIFTS to use. And we have to make do with what was given us in this maddening world. That's their way and I have mine.

AIBOs AND MODERN TOYS like those presented at the 2005 AICHI EXPO presented spectacular new gadgets.The INFORMATION ROBOT which answered all queries from visitors,that hybrid car by Toyota,are just a few of the numerous ultra modern paraphernalia.

LATELY, there was this WEARABLE COMPUTER being worn by a PROFESSOR in one of the Universities here.He is MASAHIRO TSUKAMOTO, a graduate of KYOTO DAIgaku and OSAKA DAIgaku, both categorized as STATE UNIVERSITIES in Japan.

It is the HMD or the Head Monitor Display.He displayed the gadget at a TV interview.His calling card is a plain one, just like any other.But when viewed from his HMD,it displayed a man bowing....Fantastic, indeed! He can view videos, or look into his PC at home or dial a number via a gadget he wears in his belt.

AIBO [ONE'S PAL/MATE/FRIEND] ROBOT by HONDA a few years back caught the rest of the world by surprise.NOW the AIBOs have multiplied and have revolutionized with modern amenities. Not only this one can dance,sing or make a nice company for lonely people but it can also be made to safeguard one's abode while away to some journey.

ALAS! I am left wonderin....

So many new things are mushrooming here and there....

And I am left at my usual snail pace as I try my best to reach out ....






Wednesday, November 09, 2005


JUST SAY IT........with a song....

SINGING was one of the activities my family enjoyed at home.

Almost all can carry a tune, although this writer seldom had the center stage whenever the siblings are there.I simply can't compete with them!They are a boisterous and magnificent lot and my, oh my! HOW they sing!

One brother had the same look as Jackie Chan when he was young...

He can also make those kung fu moves as swift as Jackie but not as skillful.

He had that long hair cropped like Jackie and his physique, altho not that perfect.

Now, I call him "Jackie Tiyan"...

His beer belly boasts of concrete evidence which is too impossible to deny.

But how he pluck his guitar and sing a tune.He writes his own song, too.I particularly like that song he composed: DEO- a song about God, which makes my mother cry everytime she heard it sang. The music was almost perfect [for me, at least].

Once he was featured in Kuya Germs' program along with a sister whose close-up face was taken from all angle and viewed on national TV. Nanay was so proud, I guess, judging from her incessant calls on the "kapitbahay" to please turn their tube on, since her 'anak' were there singing ....

Goodness! I had a hard time nudging her to keep still....I was a bit uneasy at her actions.But I must admit, I was happy, too happy, that is, to see R's and B's faces flashed right there before our very eyes!

Then there is Kuya Boy.

He was the eldest, a palikero, a playboy through and through.A friend once joked: "Mananalo yan, kapag tumakbong senador. Sa lahat ba nmn ng sulok ng 'Pinas, may anak."

Quite true. Some of his kids, I have met, others I have no idea...

He, too, can play the guitar, & the accordion so well he was always the center of attraction in parties. Maybe becoz he was "guwapo" or becoz he was known in the neighborhood as the Valedictorian and the Boy Mayor those years.....

Of course, he can carry a tune.It was he, who encouraged me to I refused oftentimes to sing alone.He told me :"Maganda namn ang boses mo,huwag kang mahiya..." something which made me go to center stage then and belt out a tune I liked most.

Then there's Ida.

My! she who can make her voice adapt to different genre..

Great voice, indeed, despite her asthma, she can wow 'em all, especially Nanay.

Her gift to my mother one Christmas?

Her own recording: done in Tapes [uso noon!] with her pix and her husband's at its jacket.

Great idea, huh?

Then there's Nonie,

who sang like Anthony Castelo: soft, caressing voice.

Nanay had tapes of AC before and he listened to them. Anthony was Nanay's fave then.

Nonie dubbed his voice with minus one or so and he came up with a superb recording.He likewise made a gift of his own "recordings" to Nanay

.Alas! I had none to boast of.....

Almost all played musical instruments:piano, accordion, guitar...

Tatay rules over the Harmonica department.

Just let him listen and he can get the tune.

The neighbors were always delighted to hear him play "Bayang Magiliw" perfectly.

For a foreigner living in MManila, he was the one who played the National Anthem as opening number in any Barangay assembly!

Can they beat that?

No one came up next to him.

Now they simply sing.

MUSIC played an important way to send messages

even to sibling wars which prevailed some of the time...

One who want to say something would start with some tunes,

and the rest would follow suit.

It eased the gap and made us all laugh

as we sing tunes close to our hearts.

Songs ease the pain and make us think of what is in our hearts.


...........I'D LOVE THAT!


A FRIEND has this story to tell.And I am sure she just want a release of what she feels, so I let her let tell me what's bothering her. I'd like to ponder on her story as I write it here....

Let's call her Elena.

She was raised by a strict mother but an accomodating father.

She was, the other siblings claimed endlessly, the apple of their mother's eyes.

And quite naturally, she was not allowed to be on her own by her mother.

She was always accompanied/escorted to school and back home, with less than ten minutes free time for waiting on the school building's gate.If her mom can't fetch her, the family driver did, with extreme caution not to allow unscrupulous characters to come near her.

This went on till University and beyond....when she worked as a radio announcer for one network in QC. I remember her time slot to be from 6 pm to 9.

We waited for those music to play....

and her voice!

She grew up to be serious, always doing what is right, according to the rules her mom imposed,to the detriment of her sisters who defied every rule. That made her sisters younger than her marry young, while she was left to wait..and wait she did!

She never wanted to cause pain to her Mom,nor does she want to be reprimanded, so she followed all restrictions to a tee.

She started to earn the ire of her Mom when she was in college. She had to stay in school for research and all those little things she needed to finish.

All school work.

She didn't play!

She had crushes all right. She started to be noticed by men as well. But afraid to defy her mom's wishes,she dodged every pursuit, lest her Mom sees her, or learns about it.

When she went to her first week away from home, for a training somewhere, her Mom asked her closest friend Rebecca to look after her. Elena just laughed it off, saying she isn't going to play the field. Her Mom just looked at her sternly and waited until the bus that carried them off to Training left the Campus. Her Mom stood helplessly. She looked back and cried. After all, it was her first time to be away from the watchful eyes of her mother. There was a mixture of freedom and loneliness.

Graduating early from school, she was able to land a job.She had to be at work before 5 to prepare her repartee. After some brushes with some lecherous men inside the DJ booth where she worked, she resigned.She was shocked at how a renowned broadcaster tried to put his arms around her. She warded 'em off and stormed out of the compound without saying a word, very much disgusted..

That same broadcaster is very much around....and seen everyday.

And, no! she wasn't raped or anything.

That broadcaster tried to kiss her inside the Music Library of the Network.

He failed. She was afraid.

Her parents wanted to sue. The family decided to keep mum.

They belong to Buena Familia.

She was made to help look after the family business.

She acted as the Overseer of the office whenever the 'Boys' were out in the field.

The "Boys" here stood for her brothers,who had their hand helping in management and procurement.She had to look after the people in the office and see that everything ran smoothly.

Afraid to be alone, she was always near her Mom's side.

She was there when her Mom went to have her Blood checked;

and she was there when a family problem loomed.

She was quick to offer herself for some endeavour that should be done by the eldest in the family.

Unselfish, she went out of her way and offered her time and energy for some good work in the community.

Now the problem seems to be this:

she is afraid to trust people.

Living under her mom's nose,

she was made to believe the world is littered by bad elements

and that she must not let her guard down.

Time is passing by...

.Her brothers and sisters have all been married and she is left alone..

.living in a far off place away from civilization.

She needed to live her life.

All these years, she have been "involved" [if THAT is the right word...]

with someone who we feel was unfit for her.

He was quite a weakling [if I may be so bold to say so..]

and cannot stand firm on his decision.

That one was came out of these pairings in school.

She never was serious about it all,

although that man told her last time we all got together,"I still love you..."

We knew. We were there.

Having gone through that and having been raised like that

needs a caring hand, a loving heart also.

She has cried a lot after her parents died one after the other...

Her siblings got all their share in the companies left by their parents.

She was left with a house in MManila,

with chances of earning that ancestral home from her Grandad,

if she takes care of him through his old age.

I believe she wants to open up and entertain new friends....

>friends who will help her feel happy and

forget the problems left by the separation from dear ones

and the treatment she received from her siblings.

Crying no longer fits her.

I have seen her cry so many times in the past,

I told once her she might drain her tear duct and it'll hurt if it dried.

She just smiled.

I know she continues to suffer in silence

even as she puts on a brave front.

She is like that.

I hope you get out of that shell, dear...

and look at the brighter side of the world....

You can do it! ..........Trust, I mean....




-Proverbs 10:32

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

ODE TO Mr. "D" a.k.a. "Y.T.-san"

THE DAYS have been good and the NIGHTS are cold. The sun magnificently shone on the horizonas the birds linger from tree to tree waitng perhaps for something to see?

I remembered days gone past when Tatay used to be with us.

Why did that thought pop into my mind, all of a sudden? I wonder...Maybe its one of those days...

TATAY was a real catch. Nanay told me so.

He was good, and kind and soft-hearted....

besides, he was quite impressive.He was a "master" of almost all trades I know.

That made him earn as much, I guess....

One can not detect a hint that he served the Navy a long time ago.....a thing we missed in my youth since Nanay would always hide these things and that from our prying eyes and ears.

We, that is, my siblings and I,learned about Tatay when he was already sick.

He had this ULCER thing for which he could have undergone surgery had it not been for the fact that he had this aberration against hospitals and anything clinical.


I remember an incident when we had to physically hold Tatay: Rose on one hand and I on the right as we walked past the corridors of a private Hospital in MM. He was scheduled to be operated on a Sunday, when we found him at home on Saturday night!

He then refused to be taken back to his hospital bed. Ergo, no operation took place.

THAT could have prolonged his life....

.He refused medication of any kind,until he died in his sleep one cold Tuesday morning a decade or so ago....

Tatay was a loving Father.He was also a loving husband to my Nanay.

He was away most of the time when we were young due to pressures of work.

He travelled a lot. He was a translator of sorts and he spoke several languages.

He was also a Assistant Chef in one of the Inns somewhere up North which he loved to build as his luck came through...

He did all kinds of job!

He was "THE" one to help even in the remote Barrio which catered to my Nanay's youth.

Everyone came even on rainy nights just to ask Tatay for medicines and other cures.They came, too, on hot, warm days,to ask or borrow some money to help bring a poor kid to school or a sick kid to a hospital.

None from the Barrio paid him in full;some did not even bother to thank him.Others brought live chickens or pigs...fruits [which we had plenty of],simply repay a gesture that longed no recognition.

Tatay had some dark side, too.Women were attracted to him. Maybe he was that good-looking.....or simply because he had moolah to spend.Whichever it was, I refuse to know....

I got to know these when someone called up our office/home...and I was stationed at the office[which was my usual fare] then.

ONE time, an unfamiliar female called.She asked for Mr. Y.

I asked "May I know who's calling?" She refused, and I heard her cut off the line.She called again and again...same thing.

WHEN Nanay came home, I looked at her eyes and said: "Dapat dito ka lang. Don't go back to the beach house." She asked why.I didn't answer.I just implored her to stay in MManila.She got my message and grilled me further.

Anak ako, siyempre!

I HAVE TO tell Nanay about that call.

True to form, Nanay got hold of the address [how she did it, I can only wonder!].

I was already staying in Alabang then. And I was down with colds, I think.

I didn't go to school. She called me up and told me: "Sama ka?"

c: "Where"

N: "Doon sa bahay ng @$%%%"

c: "I don't feel well."

Good thing I wasn't there because Tatay would forever remember that.

Rose did and she said things that made things worse.

OH YES! Tatay spent his remaining days in remorse and tried to win back Nanay.

But Nanay remained cold...

Tatay made amends since then.

WHEREAS Nanay used to cook, serve and take care of Tatay,

the opposite happened....

until Tatay's last days.

He was still young, had great physique,

except that voice which reduced him to whispering, He can't talk, even if he tried.

He was a chain smoker in his youth and his vocal chords were ruined by some strange things I cannot understand.

And yes! that ULCER which made him feel worse for two days in a row.

He always loved GOOD FOOD.

Yet, a week before he died, he ate something that was solid, and that was a NO-NO!

His stomach couldn't take it.

Two days before he died, he was up and about....and went to Ongpin to buy his favorite Chinese soup, noodles and more...

"Nagbaon.." someone said.

He ate his final meal with gusto.

AND then

they found him lying on his bed


.I cried...

of course I did.

He loved us all....and he loved my Nanay so much.

He may have strayed a little,but he is still my Father.

Any other thing wouldn't change that fact.

He is my Father.

At the Final Ceremony when his earthly remains was about to be mother asked me to deliver the Eulogy...and I did.

I never imagined that words can make people cry.

The rest of those who mourned with us cried...

some cried louder than I did.

I just couldn't make a scene...but I was grieving from the heart.

God, I miss him and his love for us....

I miss his ways and his loving eyes that made us feel warm..

.I miss his teachings and his words of wisdom...

I miss his sympathy whenever Nanay would assert her strict rules on me...

.I miss him,

that is why I am here in the Land of his birth to carry on what he should have done......

Nanay used to say when we were growing up:

"Find someone like your Tatay. He is a good man."

I wish I could....if I only could.

I am afraid to venture into the world...

because I do not want to cry.

I do not want to lose someone I love.






*This i one song I really like....

IF the sun should tumble from the sky

If the sea should suddenly run dry

If you love me, really love me

Let it happen I won't care....

IF it seems that everything is lost,

I will smile and never count the cost,

If you love me, really love me

Let it happen darling I won't care......

SHALL I catch a shooting star

Shall I bring it where you are

If you want me to, I will....

You can ask me any task,

I'll do anything you ask,

If you only say you love me still.....

WHEN at last, my life on earth is through

I will share eternity with you

If you love me, really love me

Let it happen Darling, I won't care


Monday, November 07, 2005

PATIENCE one trait I did not possess while studying in MManila

....I was always on the go: I never wanted to wait for anyone,

even if they waited on me, and/or for me....

I never had patience on people who act and think slow:

I hated to talk to anyone who can't cope up with me;

I never had patience with people who refuse to learn and those who need some push to be able to absorb things

and more.....



.I encountered some as I went my way.

AS I TRAVELLED around the country and abroad,

I realized that people do not think the way I do.

Some may walk fast, others slow,

some may be glib, others stutter;

Some may have guts, others shy,

others may be true, while others lie.


PATIENCE is one trait I never had....nor ever will have.....

Hence, some relatives branded me as "mataray, masungit.."

It bothered me then, now....I couldn't care less.


I please C. , and myself alone.

I am alone and no one can push me around.

But I have learned to cry a little....

>>>>smile a little

>>>>and WAIT a little until the day comes.....


PATIENCE, Nanay used to say,is like COOKING:

" has to go through the low fire and slow simmer to achieve the best concoction.


I wonder....

I still do.....


Saturday, November 05, 2005


NEWS we read here and there are enough to make one go crazy:

  • > there's the news about the RTO on that entry in the pcij blog; ---->Seems to me, its a clobbering tactic of the "authorities" and the pcij is a major arena as far as free speech is there!

  • > then there's that direct accusation against Julius Babao, coming from the ate glue herself, as quoted by ramon tulfo, that crime/police correspondent of PDInquirer. Apparently, it was ate glue herself who wanted the news out in public via tulfo's scoop! ---->huh!? ate glue leaked it? ang prisidinti ang nagtsism?my, oh my!..yayayayyy!!!!

  • >the news about a Japanese teenager lacing her mother's drinks along with their house pets with Thalium powder thus making the mother hallucinate and collapse. The pets died and the mother is now confined in a hospital. The said girl was found to be blogging her findings about her "discoveries and her experiment"! ---->Some daughter, huh? Huwag nmn sana akong magkaanak nang kagaya nitong batang ito! Grrrr....

  • >rampage in Paris has some 2000 cars incinerated by rioting black immigrants in protest of the killing of two teens suspected of some mischief weeks ago...---->Who said France was the seat of democracy?....SOME democracy, huh!?

  • >the imminent lifting of that -import ban on US BEEF by Japan, simply because bush, that push, is scheduled to come a-visiting. The Japanese populace have been up in arms against it, while Koizumi seems intent to please his friend. ----> ^%$$#@!!!! What are these people thinking? Sila na lang kaya ang kumain nun....Basta ako, ayaw!

  • >global warming seems to bring unusual climate change as the US continue to ignore the KYOTO Protocol and refuse to sign up measures. The US suffered, too, as far as hurricanes and other calamities are concerned. The world is suffering and will continue to do so if these major players continue to defy the resolutions lined up to save the earth....---->puro na lang vested interests,ayan tuloy...taong bayan sa buong mundo ang nagdudusa !!!! .....

  • AND MORE....

  • CRAZY is the key word for today....

  • CRAZY LEADERS bringing the entire populace into a




THERE ARE TIMES when we feel low,but there will be times when we feel great.

There are troubles that abound....partly, because that is LIFE and LIVING in this world is full of surprises:both good and bad.

SOMETIMES, we are lucky,at times, quite low....

LUCK seems to be with us, yet there will be days when we can't even see the LIGHT.

LET US LEARN fom LIFE and move on....

I learned that, too...the hard way.

I was alone and it hurt....

NO ONE around to cheer me up.

No friend, no kin, no one by my side,except HIM who made me realize LIFE isn't that bad....

AS I welcome each day, I pray...

I pray like I've never prayed before and make my offerings: be they good or bad....because I know that in the end, EVERYTHING WILL BE DONE AS HE WILLS.....

And so I offer The 0ne above this little prayer:

"My Prayer of Humility & Relinquishment:






I am yours, LORD to give and forgive....

I will be here and wait until that day when all great things come my way...



Friday, November 04, 2005


......sometimes lead us to discoveries.

AS I went through my usual walk yesterday,

I ventured into some roads that I have not taken before.

At first, I was afraid to enter that area, lest some CHIKAN [ A LASCIVIOUS MAN] are lurking in there.

I turned towards a wooded area and what did I find?

It was a JINJA [TEMPLE] hidden behind those thick foliage.

It was indeed a HAVEN for lost souls, wandering hearts,or troubled ones

.....It was one place away from it all:

  • >no noise, only the twitting of small birds as they fly from one branch to another;
  • >no other building except a small Temple surrounded by tall trees which smells of fresh red pines;
  • >no one around, except my own self;
  • It made me sit and contemplate on things that have been bothering me for some time.
  • THE PLACE speaks of peace.
  • I can't help but feel that nature is indeed great.The autumn colors were profuse and the grounds were abuzz with leaves of all hues: brown, gold, yellow, red....How I wish I had my digi-came with me....
  • I sat for a while thinking of nothing.....savoring the beauty of the place.There is nothing like this in the Land of my Birth....So simple, yet so beautiful!
  • Since no one was around.....I tried to shout and unload my burden.....I shouted out the top of my lungs and gave in to that pent-up emotion.....
  • I used to do this near the the I dug my bare feet into the sand....But since sea breeze would be chilly,I have ceased going to there for the moment.
  • I cried...[again!]...."Cry-Baby!"...Tatay used to say...
  • I don't know...Maybe....
  • When I have no one else to turn to,and can't verbalize my sentiments, I always end up with tears....even in the bed, as I linger on thoughts that would have been.
  • I guess all girls do... or do they?
  • I have no idea....really.
  • Am I rambling?
  • I have no reasons for that, do I?
  • No, not that I have things to complain about.....
  • Life is beautiful as it is....I guess it's the sadness of living 'alone' that makes me mushy...[Lolo doesn't seem to bother...He's OK by himself...]
  • I guess I don't make sense....anyway...
  • .I hope to go back to that place again sometime in the future.....when all the leaves have fallen and the trees are bare....
  • and next Spring as well....when the SAKURA comes a-blooming.....

Thursday, November 03, 2005


THE AIR has turned chilly and the day is turning out early.

And sleeping seems to be more comfortable than ever....


Last night, I was waiting eagerly for that new tele-novela fromSoKor

when I settled in my bed, and waited.

It was quite early: 8'oclock.The telecast was scheduled for 10,

so I..waited...

and waited....

When I opened my eyes, it was 4 AM and the TV was still on!

Goodness, I must have dozed off and slept like a Baby....

I missed that one and that > HACHIKOI [FIRST LOVE] which I've been following through these months....



I rarely miss the ones I like best.

I have been selective of TV programs offered on the screen.

I like docus and old films that deliver great messages and interesting stories.

Added to that, I marvel at how great thespians deliver their lines with such ease and emotion, sometimes, they get me crying profusely as the scenes unfold before my eyes....

It's the same thing when in MManila.

I abhor those slapstick comedies [oh..there are lots of 'em here!] especially those who exert efforts just to be noticed....


Since I love sceneries, I like the TRAVELOUGE genre as well.

It makes me imagine the places and select which ones I intend to go to if time and finances [but of course!] permits.

Better still, if I'm with someone whom I care: friends and loved 0nes.


Watching TV seems to be a day-to-day pill for everyone.

Not for me.....

I only turn it on as I work on some manuscript to inundate my ears with the Language I am supposed to speak here.

Otherwise, a great scene, or an interesting story CAN ONLY make get my undivided attention and watch it full time.


BEFORE I forget, a funny [for me, at least...] thing happened last night. My Lolo's "strange" ways made me laugh out loud.

He was looking for his shirts and he stopped, thought out loud and said, "What was that color again?"

I asked, "What color?"

Lolo: "My lucky color, according to my horoscope."

C: "What?!" You believe in Lucky colors?"

Lolo: "Of course! where's my beige shirt?"...

as he went on ranting about his 'lost' shirt!

Sobra talaga po yang si Lolo....

ang 'thunder' na eh, ang hilig pa ring sumunod sa kanyang horoscope....







Wednesday, November 02, 2005


(((((((QUOTE(drabo @ Nov 2 2005, 02:02 PM)
........................not you... anything about you is good... so keep 'em coming...")))))))))))........

NO ! not all are perfect.....

ALL people have the GOOD and the BAD side.

I'm not all good; I can be bad if provoked. But I can be good to people who ARE good.

I have been victim to so many who took advantage of my generosity or my naivette.

I have always that soft spot for the underdog and people who have lesser than I have. But these same people made a fool of mein the past so many times that a close kamag-anak was prompted to say: "when are you going to learn?" You see, some people know I can't refuse them when they come and ask for help.This is one thing I want so much to curtail; but only time can tell....

I have learned to 'filter' my surroundings to the point that I have limited my association to a few friends who have proven themselves worthy over the years.

Oh yes, I talk to people when I meet them in the neighborhood or in supermarkets or elsewhere....but just nodding acquaintance.I have refrained from indulging in small talks as it only makes things worse.

And yes, I attend community meetings while I am there, but I have dodged questions and other personal matter discussed in public. That would, perhaps, make me a "very private person"? I really don't know....

I prefer the sanctuary of my own home and be free to act as I will....I'd like the company of my dogs and my orchids and lazying in my Bahay-Kubo in the garden reading some magz or a new novel....or just cook for family and friends who come by and visit me.

Maybe that limited my "exposure" to other people who might have paved ways for me to meet my destiny.I believe that whatever happens is pre-destined and that whatever we do leads us to something we all must do in this lifetime.

I am not in a hurry.......I am taking my time and savoring each flower as time passes by. I am enjoying my life to the fullest because we pass this way only once, and I must do what I have to do to reach my goal.

Yes, I have Goals, too.....just like you...or just like any other man or woman.

I intend to do what I have been doing for the past several decades of my life







Tuesday, November 01, 2005


NOWADAYS, my heart is somewhere in Inang Bayan and my mind is already working non-stop....

I am now working on my schedule which is quite hectic, considering the line-up:

from Lance's Baptism Ceremony/Party

to that out-of-MManila trip to Dakak,

The Farm [awaiting confirmation...yet!],

to the Pansol Hot Spring Party with dear friends,

the Massage at Westin,

and that scheduled "Regalo" for some people who need a little somethin for Christmas....

and more....


THE calls seem non-stop....

The sked must be confirmed if we want a coordinated endeavour.


FOR me, ......................> leisure day along the beach with Hiroko,Maki or Jay....and Von, Lance and Indi;

......>>or a hot dip in Pansol for the aching limbs of Marcia, Flor and Jovy.... amidst reminiscing the days gone past....

.............>>> strolling along the small shops of AA, sipping coffee in one of its terraces...

......>>>> shopping at the fruit shops in Alabang Market....

......>>>>> just enjoying the afternoon lull as Josie, the manicurist, makes her usual trips to my place;

.....>>>>>>or just tinkering with my garden, which, I'm sure needed that much-awaited re-do by the Garcia Gradens...

.is enough to satiate my taste.

OF COURSE, I'd like to go to Pat's place in Mabalacat [is it?] and see his place.

He has been inviting me and the rest of the gang for as long as I remember...

I'm particularly interested in that carved sala set which he says are lots cheaper there than in MM....

and perhaps, BAGUIO, if time permits.

Oh, I love Baguio, despite reports that the city do not smell of Pines, anymore....

I love to shop in its winding, ethnic stores along the hills in Mines'View or the shops inside its Public Market:.....makes me feel free to move in Baguio than in MM.


I need to ask Mang Ciano, the carpenter, to remove those two small rooms on the Left wing and convert that place to a small Zen Garden. Got to make a big picture window there, too.



So many things to do, yet so little time!

I just wish I can whisked them all up during the time I'm there.....

or else...

bitin na nmn...