Aray!

~

May naipit, kaya may pumiyok!

~

Yan ang mahirap sa mga may utang na loob

lalo na kung ang "utang" eh illegal at ang inutangan eh

kaparis ilang mga halang ang bituka.

Ayun at pumiyok na si Ramon Tulfo laban sa

pressure na ginagawa sa kanya

at sa kanyang mga kapatid.

Tungkol ito sa kanilang show sa RPN 9

na pinamamahalaan ng gobyerno.

Kahit na nagbabayad ng napakalaking halaga,

hndi na ni-renew ang kanilang kontrata

for the next season.

Hinala ni Mon Tulfo, may kinalaman ito

sa expose` na ginawa niya sa sinisinta ni FatGuy na si Vicky Toh

at sa kapatid ni Toh na si Tomas.

Mga smugglers daw ang mga ito.

Lumalabas na "kasing-kasing"

[bweh^he^heh!]

ni Fatguy si Vicky.

Sabagay, pagkakataon na ni Tulfo na

maging "Bayani ng Bayan"

kung......

yan, eh, KUNG lang naman......

KUNG ibubulgar na niya ang lahat nang

nalalaman niya sa mga misteryo ni "bluebird".

Personally, I have refrained from reading Tulfo's column

at the PDI since I read him singing praises to the fat honcho.

I have no respect for those ASKALs licking the ass of

someone in power....

lalo na at peke, ano po....

NOW is the time for Tulfo to spill the beans while he still can.

People know the machinery and the killing fields

of the fake tenant by the Pasig.

It would be best to tell all

para sa Pinoy at sa Bayang Minamahal.....

NOW NA!

Baka sakaling halikan pa kita!

~

SILENT TREATMENT, anyone?

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and

were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,

he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE),

he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM."

He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up,

only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,

when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman,

but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

(I really liked this part, hehe!

women are masterpieces, indeed!)

HOW to INSTALL LOVE

Tech Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?


Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?


Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?


Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?


Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?


Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?


Tech Support: What programs are running ?


Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.


Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ?


Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?


Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.


Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?


Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.


Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components." What should I do?


Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.


Customer: So, what should I do?


Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.


Customer: Okay, done.


Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.


Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?


Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.


Customer: Thank you, God.


========================^00^=^00^=^00^=^00^=========================

Babuyan na....

I read in MLQ3's blog the lines..."Bastusan na..."

when he described the manner by which

government servants behave

while in Office....

I couldn't help but agree.

But I kept mum on the matter coz I

thought, I'd let it pass...

muna....

Today I read a post by Uniffors and carried in the Daily Tribune

an incident which best describe the above lines.....

However,

after reading the entry,

I was shocked....

no, not shocked actually...

hated [is it the correct word, I wonder...

abhorred would be best, I think.....

the actions made by the "Justice" Secretary himself....

He bypassed several restrictions at the tight NAIA Security

as he coddled/escorted Bautista of LTFRCB

so she can avoid being served the warrant for her arrest.

Alam ng lahat na "bata" daw ni Gonzalez.

Ewan ko kung paanong bata:

bata as in gurlpren?;

or bata as in protegee?

hee-hee-hi-hee....

....

I thought he threatened those who gave shelter to

renegade soldiers running from the arms of Law?

Binaboy ni gonzalez ang kanyang pagkatao

at ang posisyon bilang Justice Secretary.

Binaboy!

*****

*

Salamat po Doktor!

Nagkasakit daw si glenda?

Suspetsa ko, nagpa-retoke yan....

Buwan-buwan na lang nao-ospital!

Hmmm........

Naiiyak tuloy ako.....

Joke!

Hanuba?

Kahit isang patak, hindi ako mag-aabuloy ng luha

kay gng. pidal, anoh!

Ano, nababaliw?

Ano daw?

Baka nababaliw na si gloria dahil sa kakulangan

sa tulog?

Baka naka-Karma na?

Dapat lang!

HOPE

Picture this:

gloria walking smugly,

on the hallway of Batasan.....

tambourines and alalays, tuta and palakpak boys in tow,

then whiiiishhhh!

Typhoon glenda [actually it is gloria, kaya lang ginarci na naman!]

came with heavy winds that gloria fell on her face.

Getting up, helped by her goons,

she looked at the TV screen

covering the SONA.....

and

in her usual smug-faced countenance, said:

I.......

AM.....

...........GUILTY.

I hope this comes true......

as soon as possible!

BEATING THE HEAT

What can beat the heat?

Or better still, what must one do to beat this heat wave that

will be here until September,

when Summer is supposed to go?

Hmm...

lemme see......

Aside from the usual::::>

or

this>>>

When I was young, I remember Tatay boiling

some Green Mongo and letting it cool inside the ref.

He then adds crushed ice

[parang sa Halo-halo]

then sugar and lots of milk.

I didn't understand why

so I asked him why he tales time eating those.....

Eh pambata lang ang pagkaing yun, right?

He only said that it helps cool the body temp down.

I didn't pay much attention to that

until I saw on the tube

some medical segments on

how to survive the heat this Summer.

***

Actually in some parts of China,

and, specifically in Taiwan,

people there never....

[take note: never, ha.....so they say over there....]

experience heat stroke, or sunstroke.

It's becoz they have the food to

counter those.

****

I perspire easily, so I belong to the yellow group.

Some people do not seem to perspire that much.

They remain cool amidst the sun and the heat.

Those people belong to the red group.

Now the Yellow group, to which I belong

must partake of foods to help cool their body down.

These are: NASU[eggplant], TOMATO[tomatoes]

and SUIKA[watermelons].

I do not know why Japan has no Green Mongo

like those we have in Inang Bayan.

They eat lots of veggies but no Green Mongo!

So i guess I have to settle for

Tomatoes and Watermelons, huh...

plus gallons of

unless Maki sends me those Green Mongo

via EMS!

******

*

HEAT WAVE

38.3!

So far, the hottest this summer

.And that's in my place!

Good grief!

News of old folks being rushed to hospitals has brought panic among the locals.

I heard it's the same way in Germany and Cali.

Gosh, summer is just beginning....

Ang tagal pa ng September!

It's school holiday: and it goes on for 4o+ days.

Moms were seen in supermarkets with kids in tow

buying snacks, juices and watermelons to quench their thirst.

While Jiji is in Yokohama,

I tried to be a good gurl by cleaning the garden.

Tomatoes and cucumber abound

but my ampalaya didn't survive.

Grrr...

And I must check those CORNS.....

I went there late and all the shops were closed!

Tomorrow is another day.....but I better start early

so I can grab the best choice!

Kain-na-kain pa naman ako....

SAUNA

Yesterday, having seen the first sunlight after weeks of persistent rains,

I decided to cut the other half of the trees that lined the property.

I have done with the other half last week, remember?

Anyway, knowing that the sun might hurt my skin [arrgh!]

I splashed oodles of sunscreen all over my face and arms.

Got the wide-brim hat typical of every Lolo who farms their lots,

and wore Lolo's jacket he normally uses when it rains.

What for? One may ask.....

Well, parang sauna na rin.

Lately, my lifestyle have been sedentary

.....................very!

So to counteract those starting to accumulate fats....

I decided to take a sauna....while working, that is!

So I started with gloves on..got the farm implements from the bodega.....

But I saw the Lola from the other side of the fence: that Lola who is soooo madaldal!

And I have no time entertaining her inquisitiveness at that moment.....

So instead, I embarked on the small outgrowths near the pathway.

I cleared the mintsthat has outgrown along the path.

Some has invaded the area where the AC/Heater's outlet is....

I wandered along the garage, but finished only a portion since the sun was getting high.

Besides, I was perspiring too much already.

Which is, the primary purpose of this activity anyway....

I called it quits and headed for that shower!

What a marvelous feeling!

Ahhhh! What nice feeling to hit two birds with one stone.

I wonder how I will fare today?

Mamaya na yun.......

In the meantime, I trek to the hills

to get those CORNS [again!]!

It has been sometime since I last gobbled some....

BAD TASTE

It was all done in bad taste!

Some praise it [you know you are!],

but then when analyzed,

the result could be found wanting....

WHY?

Ask yourself!

Matalino ka, di ba?

****

*

*

NEUTRAL?

The darkest places in hell are reserved for those

who maintain their neutrality

in times of moral crisis.

-Dante Alighieri

Marami ang walang kibo sa ating mga Kababayan

dahil sa neutral daw sila....

BS!

Walang neutral-neutral

kapag kapakanan na ng ating Bayan ang nakasalalay.

Ngayon:

saang panig ka?

*

SONAvagun!

SONA? what's that, you ask....

Well, that's what a leader tells her country, or people, for that matter.....

to report to the people the accomplishments made in the past year.

But in my country's case, the "leader" isn't supposed to be the leader.

Meaning?

Well, she is a fake, a pretender!

THAT exactly is what gloria arroyo is: a fake!

Notwithstanding numerous rallies and the rain,

she trooped to Batasan and delivered her well-crafted speech,

thanks to her image-maker and other advisers.

BUT the real STATE of the Nation is a mess:

a real mess.

Who cares what the fake says, or

displays?

People no longer care!

~

I hate to say this, but hOW can these people

allow themselves to be used as PROPS for gloria's

"glitzy" presentation?

I mean the Everest Team, pacquiao, and the Ms. Beauty Contest,

whoever that damn s---t was!

Magkano ba ang natanggap nyo?

Lahat gagamitin ni gloria

for her own self-interest.

Pati na yung mga nakarating galing sa Lebanon!

Eh klahat ng ginamit doon,

galing sa Kaban ng Bayan, di ba?

Pati na yung bayad sa "PALAKPAK Boys ni glue!

%$$#"'!!!!

*

STOP COMPARING!

Stop Comparing By: Bo Sanchez

*

We live in a pathologically dissatisfied world.

And I'm going to tell you why.

====

Because we love to compare.

Go around the world and discover that people aren't happy with their bodies.

Filipinos want to be fair-complexioned like Westerners, and so buy bleaching stuff.

Westerners want to own bronzed bodies like ours, and so purchase tanning lotions.

Those with moles have them removed,

while those who don't strategically implant beauty spots.

Some people want to shed a few pounds to look like Ally McBeal,

while others want to gain some baby fat to look like Drew Barrymore.

When are we ever going to stop and simply be happy with how we look?

We live in a sick world, I tell you. And that sickness is comparisonitis.

~

Take a look at wealth. When we drive our old Toyota, it really suits us fine.

We feel blessed in fact when the rain pours outside and

we feel snug and cozy on its faded upholstered seats.

But the moment we see our own officemate (or neighbor, or buddy, or cousin, or brother)

drive his sleek sky-blue, four-door, four-wheel-drive Rav4,

we automatically feel like third class children of God.

Next time we drive our bumpy, noisy, rusted, dilapidated Toyota

(notice how all the defects come out all of a sudden?),

we feel deprived, dispossessed, pariah, debased, and

only a little higher than the insects of the earth.

~~

Listen carefully. Bill Gates' total assets are worth $60 billion.

That's more than the GNP of some small countries.

Tiger Woods earns $80 million simply by smiling on TV in a Nike shirt.

And the stars of the sitcom Friends are paid $50,000 per episode!

~~~

My point?

No matter how hard you work,

there'll still be some people who will be richer than you are.

And there'll be some people who will be more beautiful,

have more sex appeal, have more boyfriends/girlfriends, and have more problems.

~~~~

Try it for once.

Stop looking around. Don't compare!

*Don't compare her nose with your nose.

*Don't compare his wife with your wife.

*Don't compare his salary with your salary.

*Don't compare her breast size with your breast size.

*Don't compare her kid's report card with your kid's report card.

*Don't compare his prayer group with your prayer group.

*Don't compare her/his cellulite deposits with your cellulite deposits.

*Stop comparing and start living and you'll be happier with your life.

*****

This is crucial:

The most difficult thing in the world is to be who you are not.

Pretending and trying to be someone else is the official pastime of the human race.

(I don't think dogs and cats and cows and horses have this problem).

*And the easiest thing in the world is to be yourself.

Be happy.

Live!

There must be a reason why God made you

tall or short or fat or thin or bumpy all over.

Love who you are!

UNUSUAL RAINFALL

The rainfall has been unusually heavy and persistent the past few weeks

that the government has urged the residents of hard-hit areas

to flee and go to evacuation centers.

The ground has been made loose becoz of the rain that

it is not known when and where the landslide will occur.

~

There were old folks found dead. Most are living alone and far from the others.

How long it will take to restore the houses broken by the sudden flooding,no one can tell.

To think these rains were caused NOT by typhoons alone

but becoz of the massing of clouds in western Japan.

~~

In my area, the rains were persistent that my laundry has suffered a lot!

I can't even go out without getting wet!

Besides, I miss the corns from MORI!

Walang magha-harvest kapag maulan, noh!

The Weather Bureau has said that the peak of the rainy season here

will be over by next week.

~~~

Sana naman.......

~~~~~~

*

Who cares for the SONA?

THe country is in shambles, the economy philandered by the pidal couple

and their cohorts....

His men are seen gallivanting in luxurious hotels

with a has-been starlet in tow,

[totoo yan, I've seen them with my own eyes!]

while battles rage on in the South.

Pinoys stranded i war-torn Lebanon

risking life and limbs to send that moolah

to help boost the economy........

Oh I could rant on but do you think the

fakes would take notice?

Naaahhh!

They won't!

More specifically, she won't.

Why, she is busy as a bee

planning and plotting evil schemes

to cover-up her misdeeds.

Not to mention the bulk of cash that

has been used to shut the big mouth of those in the know.

So what's new?

SONA?

Eh siya at ang bahay nya kaya ang ipa-SONA

para malaman ng Bayan ang itinatago niyang baho?

~~~

For sure, the fake lilliputian will bring in tow her

"Palakpak Boys"

that at every turn and cue,

she will receive a standing ovation,

with ominous palakpaks from her tutas.

TODAY

A good plan today

is better

than a perfect plan

tomorrow.

A KITCHEN INTERLUDE

Yesterday, t'was raining cats and dogs

And I had nothing to do but linked on the tube.

I was restless with nowhere to go...........

So I faced the hearth and made some broth.

I made some rice with so many things:

carrots, mushrooms, and some white chicken.

I then placed some broth, and sprinkled seasonings....

So what do I get?

Lo and behold!

I had TAKIKOMI GOHAN that is full n filling!

INUTIL in Malacanang

Mabagal talaga ang pagresponde ni gng. pidal at kanyang alipores

sa paglikas ng mga Pinoy sa Lebanon.

Aba'y isang linggo nang mahigit bago pa

nagpalabas ng pera para sa evacuation.

Ano kaya ang iniisip ng mga ito?

Kung paano matabunan ang issue tungkol kay Bolante

at paghanap ng masisisi para maipakulong ang kanyang mga

kaaway?

INUTIL itong huwad na pang-ulo!

Ulo ng kurakot!

Ambisyosa masyado

at walang kakurap-kurap

na magsabing

pinili siya ng Diyos?

Kapal!

~

TEKA, TEKA, puro Problema!>>>TAWA MUNA!

Para sa kaunting ngiti at tuwa ngayong araw kahit madaming balitang hindi maganda

tulad ng giyera, tsunami, bulkang sumasabog, at iba pa...

Ayon sa British think tank New Economics Foundation, ang Pilipinas ay pang 17th sa Happy Planet Index, basahin niyo ang link sa ibaba.

http://opinion.inq7.net/inquireropinion/editorial/view_article.php?article_id=10357


============================================

Teacher: What is your name?

Student: Early Seven po Mam...

>

Teacher: Niloloko ma ba ako?

Student: Hindi po!! Iyan po ang name ko sa Inglis,

sa Pilipino po "AGAPITO"

>> ``````````````````````````````````````````````

Kumare1: My dog is smart every morning he brings newspaper to me.

Kumare2: Alam ko sinabi sa akin ng aso ko.

>>>-----------------------------------------------------

Mrs.: O bakit umagang umaga nakasimangot ka?

Maid: Kasi po mam kagabi napatunayan ko "NOTI" talaga si Sir!

>

Mrs.: Anong NOTI?

Maid: NOTIGAS" po Mam.

>> >> ``````````````````````````````````````````````

Anak: Tay, may project po kami sa school. kailangan po ng band peper!

Tatay: Anak, wag kang bobo ha! hindi band peper ang tawag dyan!

Anak: ano po ba????

Tatay: Kokongband..............

>>>>> ``````````````````````````````````````````````

Q: Why do couples hold hands during weddings?

A: It is just a formality. Like "two boxers", they shake hands before the fight begins.

>>>>>> ``````````````````````````````````````````````

Q: What is the most impressive example of Tolerance?

A: Golden Wedding Anniversary!

>>>>>>> ``````````````````````````````````````````````

Teacher: Write a short story in a few words discussing

>>>>>>>Religion, Sexuality and Mystery.

Student wrote: "My God! I'm pregnant. I wonder who the father is?"

>>>>>>>>``````````````````````````````````````````````

SENSITIVE CHILD's 1st day in school::::>

Mom to teacher - Very sensitive po ang anak ko.

> Kung kailangan nyo po parusahan, Sampalin nyo na lang po ang katabi nya.

> matatakot na 'yan!>>

>>>>>>>>>``````````````````````````````````````````````

Do you know why bra makers measure cup size by "A B C D E F "?

A - almost gone>

B - barelly noticeable>

C - comfortable>

D - damn good>

E - extremely big and>

F - Fake>>

>>>>>>>>>>``````````````````````````````````````````````

> CHALK>

Amo : 'Day, ang chalk na ito para mamatay ang ipis. Gamitin mo sa pader.>

Maid : Opo, ate.>

.............. Next day .......>

Nagulat ang amo, nakasulat sa pader."Epes mamataykayonglahat!">>

>>>>>>>>>>>``````````````````````````````````````````````>

Lumindol ng malakas noon....> Nagkagulo and lahat at nag-panic.>

Sumigaw ang isang lalake..> "Katapusan na! Katapusan na!"> Sumagot ang isa pang lalake..> "Tanga, a kinse pa lang.">>

>>>>>>>>>>>>``````````````````````````````````````````````>

Teacher: Who can give a question and translate it to Tagalog?>

Pupil: My Teacher is beautiful, isn't she?>

Teacher: Very good! Sige, please translate it in Tagalog.>

Pupil: Ang guro ay maganda! MAGANDA nga ba?

>> ``````````````````````````````````````````````>

Sweethearts watching the sky:>

Guy: Ano ang iyong horoscope?>

Girl: Ano man huruskup?>

Guy: Kapalaran ba... gaya sa akin, CANCER....>

Girl: AH!! sa akon, ALMoRANAS.....>>

`````````````````````````````````````````````>

Girl: The man I must marry must be bright. He must be musical,

can tell jokes, sing and stay home at night!>

Granny: Honey, if that's all you want, get a TV!>

Less headache.................>>

```````````````````````````````````````````````>

Nanay: Damihan ninyo ang sinaing, isali nyo na rin pati aso't pusa.>

Anak: Opo Nay!>

Nanay: Punyeta, bakit may pusa dito sa sinaing????>

Anak: Di ko na nga po sinama yung aso, kasi di na po kasya....>

```````````````````````````````````````````````