TEACHER: Why are you late?
L-JOHNY: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
L-JOHNY: The one that says,
"School Ahead, Go Slow."
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-
TEACHER: Johny, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
L-JOHNY: You told me to do it without using tables!
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-
TEACHER: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
L-JOHNY: "K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
L-JOHNY: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
L-JOHNY: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
L-JOHNY: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America .
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, Johny, who discovered America ?
L-JOHNY: George!
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-
TEACHER: Johny, name one important thing we have today
that we didn't have ten years ago.
L-JOHNY: Me!
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-
TEACHER: Johny, why do you always get so dirty?
L-JOHNY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-
L-JOHNY: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
L-JOHNY: Your name on this report card.
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-
TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
L-JOHNY! : Don't bite any.
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-
TEACHER: Johny, give me a sentence starting with "I".
L-JOHNY: I is...
TEACHER: No, Johny. Always say, "I am."
L-JOHNY: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-
Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE? "
L-Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day same time."
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-
Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
L-Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-
L-Johnny : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt ?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
L-Johnny : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-
Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
L-Johnny: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-
Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
L-Johnny: Brotherly love.
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-
Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
L-Johnny : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-
Teacher: Johny, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
L-Johnny: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
L-Johnny : A teacher
*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*
